Already too late
by ma1evolent
Summary: On the outside, Cameron seems happy and carefree, but deep inside, her pain was undescribable. Many years earlier, she has started 'cutting' herself. Nobody knows of her secret, at least not yet anyways.
1. chapter 1

_My first House MD fanfic so be nice :D_

_Disclaimer: I don't own House MD, because if I did, Cameron and House would be together a long time ago. _

Cameron's POV 

_Italics are Cameron's thoughts. _

Chapter 1

"I won't let this get to me, I can just keep trying, he'll see, that in the end, he might be able to love me back too," Cameron said this out loud accidentally, with a hint of optimism in her voice, but inside, her heart was breaking under the strain. She knew it was hopeless, how could House ever grow to love her?

" Cameron?" The voice came from Wilson.

Oh no, how long has he been here? 

" Hey Wilson, how long have you been here?"

" About two minutes, are you okay? Maybe you should talk to someone about this."

" I'm okay, I was just thinking aloud."_ I tried to smile to reassure him, but how can someone smile when they know the one they love will never love them back? _Wilson still looked skeptical.

" Cameron, you do know that House has feelings for you, he's just afraid to get hurt."

_Can this be true? House, afraid? This couldn't be the Gregory House. _

" Ummm… sure, I have to get back to work now, see you later Wilson."

X x X x X x X

I didn't believe him for a second, House, the sarcastic stubborn, and incompetent House would never be able to love me. He told me so, and who was I going to believe, House or Wilson? A nagging voice came from inside my head responded 'Wilson'.

I was currently in the comfort of my home and it was about 8'ish. _Nobody else but me is here again. I let out a sigh, it's been so long._

I then remembered I had some paperwork to finish inside my purse, it was due tomorrow! Oh no! What am I going to do? They were important documents! Maybe I can go to the hospital early and finish it up tomorrow. Thinking these last few words, I suddenly remembered something from 7th grade.

"Allison, do you have your homework."

Simultaneously everybody else in the class replied, " Of course she did, it's Allison."

X x X x X x X

_Everybody always expected me to be perfect. But I'm not perfect and I never will be. I was expected to always act optimistic, and I suppose everybody assumed I never had a care in the world, but this couldn't be father from the truth. At that time, a thought struck my mind, being a reasonable person, I tried to come up with an incentive of why they would think this way. Being naïve as I was, I thought that it was a ploy to make my life miserable. (I suppose I was being dramatic) It just felt better to think that way. _

_That's when the cutting started, once I grew up, I knew it was pointless. Why was I doing this to myself? There were many times when I tried to stop, but the cutting helped, it helped ease my emotional pain. _

_Today was no exception; I was filled with pain, not about my dead husband, but about House. This is the second time! Why must I lose everybody I love? It just isn't fair! _

_Putting aside the important documents, I decided to go ease my pain. A grim smile crept upon my face. How could I say it was 'easing my pain'? _

_Assured of the fact that nobody else was here beside me for so long, I knew it was safe from friends, family, or even doctors. I plopped myself on the couch in front of the TV, taking out a razor. I slowly pulled up my knee-lengthed skirt gently, to reveal my thighs. Full of past cutting marks. They were telltales of the pain I felt. _

I chose a suitable spot and slowly inched the razor closer to my thighs. I put the razor against my flesh and pushed it gradually inwards. Little trickles of blood ran down my legs. It felt good, concentrating more on my physical pain, thoughts of House disappeared from my mentality. I decided the pain wasn't enough, I needed to push it in harder. Just as I austerely pushed it once more, the door flung open, revealing a shocked House.

I was dumbfounded, _What in the world was House doing at my house? Coming to my senses, I quickly hid the razor and pulled down my skirt. But deep inside, I knew that he had seen it all, Before I had started cutting myself this evening, I felt a presence at the door. To my surprise, the window curtains were open, revealing a full view of my cutting. _

I was in shock, unable to move. Then I felt horribly dizzy, maybe it was the lost of blood, but I knew I was about to faint. Just before my eyes closed, I looked at the door once more to see House dashing my way.

…

Author's Note: How do you guys like the story so far? R&R please:D


	2. Chapter 2

**A/N: It's been almost an entire year since I first posted this story, but the long awaited second chapter is here. This story will now be frequently updated thanks to the reviewers:) I suppose my writing style has changed dramatically, but I hope all of the readers will enjoy this installment just as much!**

**-----**

My eyes opened to the soft simmer in the back ground. Truthfully, it was probably that sensitive flower smelling piece of skin and bone between my eyes that awoke first. My mentality still dazed, and the pleasant aroma in the air only did much to sway me back to sleep. _"Like a bad hangover," _I murmured to myself.

"Probably worse, judging by how long you were out- Wilson could have diagnosed you as being in a coma." The cynical voice chipped in from behind me.

"I never asked you for your opinion," I stated crudely, aware of the crippled figure preparing dinner.

"I'm a doctor, it's my job to give it nonetheless." House said with a grin that quickly dissolved. His features tense, and the rhythmatic drumming on the oak table only worried me more.

I paused with no riposte in mind. There was an awkward silence that swept through while I examined the setting. The clock read 6:30, and somehow I was in my living room on the couch. The plain wooden furniture in 90 degree angles, the curtains drawn close. I sat up, only to feel my thighs ache. A silk blanket was placed over me, and I was positioned quite comfortably.

"House, what are you doing here? You have no right to be in _my_ apartment, rummaging through_ my _stuff." I whispered exasperated. My heart was still throbbing, and my emotions were ready to rise. _His presence was comforting, but... it can't compare to being held in his arms,... to feeling his lips upon my own. _

I was afraid, a grown coward. How pathetic...

"Well... being the gentleman I am, how could I possibly leave after you fainted?" House replied sarcastically.

"Pfft... " was all I managed to utter. The statement had brought a smile to my face, but under no circumstances was I to give him that satisfaction. I left myself open too many times, I can't deal with that rejection... not anymore.

My stomache growled lowly, and I noticed the lingering smell of coffee and... poptarts?

I looked up, making sure that the loss of blood had not permanently damaged my ability to smell. Sure enough, there was a table set for two, 2 empty pallid plates on either side with a bowl of strawberry poptarts without the icing. The steam from the coffee mugs set next to it.

I arched my eyebrow- _why in the world would he make poptarts? _

_"_Your fridge only had some yogurt and eggs, now that wouldn't be appropriate for dinner would it?" He remarked innocently, an amused expression set on his carved features.

"And poptarts are?" I stated, awed by his_ bloody brilliant _logic. He casually shrugged. "Are you going to join me for dinner or what?"

I walked over and sat down, unnerved at his examinationOnly then did I realize, I was in a knee length pink sleeping garment from Victoria's Secret. The last I remembered, I was wearing a white blouse and a dress skirt. My eyes widened. What in the world did he do when I was sleeping?

He noticed my shock and said smugly, "I didn't think sleeping in your work clothes would be comfortable, so I took the liberty to... erm redress you." He said the last two words with a smirk on his face. It seemed the perfect thing to slap him, but my energy was sapped.

I merely glanced down, embarressed. By now, House had probably examined my scarred thighs, nevertheless every other inch of my body.

"Don't worry though, I was even considerate enough to replace that restraining bra with a tanktop." The smile on his face at that moment resembled a seven year old's.

A notion uncovered itself in the depths of my mentality, and fear sent shivers throughout my entire body. "Did my underwear not seem appropriate either?"

He never replied, the twinkle still apparant in his blue ocean eyes. His mouth opened after a few moments, and I panicked. _Oh dear, he's going to bring up the cutting isn't he? _

I looked for a quick escape, and there it was- the bathroom. I quickly mumbled an excuse and practically ran for the door. Oh look, a set of razors and a towel. How pleasant.

A half an hour later, I sat against the door with the razor ready to begin what was already routine.

But the bathroom door flew open and a breeze was almost distinguished. Bewildered by the sudden movement, I threw the razor in that direction. Self defense, I call it. To him, it was something completely different.

**Sidenote: Thinking of maybe rewriting the first chapter, tell me what you think. Constructive criticism is appreciated :) Thanks again everyone, the success of the first chapter was overwhelming! **


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